Are Your Self-Care Practices Keeping You Balanced Or Burned Out?

Self-care wasn’t something I always practiced but when I did it was in the form of bubble baths, making sure my hair was done, nails were done, and of course some retail therapy.  While these are things we as women should be doing anyway I still felt tired, mentally drained, unproductive, and really like I had no peace.  I had to ask myself are my self-care practices keeping me balanced or burned out?”  

My goal was to live a well-balanced life and I totally felt like I wasn’t accomplishing that goal.  When I realized I was still burned out I had to go a little deeper to find out why and what I could do about it.  It turns out that my definition of self-care was wrong and if I wanted to make it right I had to change a few things as quickly as possible. 

The Burnout Was Real! 

It was back in 2013 when I came to the conclusion that I was burned out. My under eye circles started to get a little darker, I wasn’t eating properly, and every time I sat down I would find myself waking up.  Can you say tired? I was not hanging out with my friends like I used to and I wasn’t accomplishing any goals. As a matter of fact I didn’t have any goals at all.  That’s when I knew for sure that I was burned out because that’s not my personality at all. I knew the life that I wanted for myself.  And instead of me manifesting the things that I wanted, i was just going about life and letting whatever happens happen.  I knew at that point some changes had to be made in my life immediately.  

My definition of self care

My definition of self care was making sure my outer appearance was on point, hair, nails, clothes, shoes etc.  I also defined self care as taking bubble baths often, making sure I stayed physically active, and get some time in with my friends when I can.  After re-evaluating everything in my life i realized that self care is so much more then this!  So I had to go about redefining it for myself. 

How I Redefined Self Care 

While there are plenty of definitions about self care I like to define self care as the attitude and actions one takes to contribute to the maintenance and development of their well-being in every area of their life. After redefining the self care I understood why I was burned out and not truly living a well balanced life.  I focused more on things like:

  1. My outer appearance 
  2. Being a people pleaser
  3. Spoiling my daughter 
  4. Working hard on my jobs, yes I had more than one 
  5. Helping others to accomplish their goals
  6. Hanging out every chance I could even when I was tired

Now don’t get me wrong these things are not bad things.  Making sure you look good on the outside is necessary. It shows you care about yourself and your appearance. Making sure everyone was good and I was good with everybody is just my personality.  I don’t like conflict so I made sure I didn’t have any. My daughter is my world so of course, I did any and everything for her.  I had to work because one job just wasn’t enough to pay the bills. I would help anybody if I could who ask even if it meant taking from myself. And I love going out and dancing the night away, it was my way of winding down and just having a good time with my friends. 

The problem with all of this is that there is no balance.  Mentally I was drained. I wasn’t eating right so the weight was up and down. Emotionally I was a wreck. I wanted to say no to a lot of people and things but I couldn’t take anyone being upset with me so I always volunteered of did what I was asked. Financially I was good but it could have been better

The Solution 

I took a break from it all to find out where I was going wrong. After redefining self care for myself I realized I wasn’t taking care of my well being in every area.  Remember I defined self care as the attitude and actions one takes to contribute to the maintenance and development of one well-being in every area of their life. So what are the areas of one’s life they should practice self care?  I created the She Evolve Commandments.  These commandments consist of 7 self care principles I practice and believe that every woman should practice if you truly want to lived a well balanced life. 

She Evolve Commandments

  • Spiritually Evolve
    • Read your religious or spiritual books so you can understand yourself more. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. 
    • Mediating- 3-20 minutes a day, can be guided if you are a beginner 
    • Gratitude- write down daily what you are grateful for. Do this for at least 7 minutes a day and then speak them out loud 
    • Connecting from within--what’s important to you and what do you want
  • Mentally Evolve 
    • You are what you think about
    • Keep track of your thoughts, monitor your thinking
    • Command how you think, feel, and what you do
    • Create positive affirmation, decrees and declare
    • Take time to rest your mind
  • Emotionally Evolve
    • Limit your negative emotional reactions
    • Set healthy boundaries
    • Be more aware of how people, places, things, and situations make you feel
    • Do more of what makes you happy or puts you in a better mood
  • Physically Evolve
    • Exercise/walk/etc at least 3 days a week
    • Take pride in your appearance
    • Release any weight that may be bringing you down physically, emotionally, and mentally so that you can start with your head held high, shoulders back, and 10 toes down. 
  • Socially Evolve - Connect, create, and build relationships with people who are going to help you evolve in every area of your life and vice versa.  Your network is truly your net worth. 
    • Spend time with friends and family
      • Put them in your schedule or on your to-do list
    • Know your friends, what role they play, and act accordingly
      • All purpose friend
      • prayer/church friend
      • Business bestie
      • Out to eat friend
    • Build relationships that matter personally - 
      • spiritual advisors, 
      • physical fitness coaches, 
      • Life or transformation coach
      • therapist
    • Build relationships that matter professionally - coaches, mentors, builders. You can use 
      • Facebook groups, 
      • masterminds, 
      • get involved in some of their programs, 
      • join them when they go live or have events, etc
  • Personally Evolve 
    • Personal development is the greatest gift you can give yourself
      • Knowing what brings you true joy
    • Not burning yourself out
    • Self-care/self-love
    • Bubble baths
    • Hair and nails
  • Financially Evolve 
    • Increasing your income
    • Have a money/wealth mindset
    • Basic budgeting principles
    • Making saving a priority
    • Learn about taxes
    • Have insurance (health, life, homeowner or renters, etc)

What helps me follow through with my She Evolve Self Care Commandments is my She Evolve 90 Day Planner.  If I had to constantly remember to do every aspect of this it wouldn’t happen.  But my She Evolve Self Care and Lifestyle Planner has this all for me and so much more. 

After using this planner daily I went from being burned out to balanced accomplishing all of my goals I set and having healthy boundaries that allow me to help people and do the things that I love without neglecting myself in the process.

Do you need help in going from burned out to living a well balanced life?  Download the FREE Self Care Over Everything Essentials Kit Today!

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